It seems that our Bill of Rights has been thrown out the window, so we've re-written the First Ten Amendments to reflect how the liberal mind interprets what we hold so dear to our hearts...


Bill of Rights Revised

Amendment I

Congress shall regulate the establishment and observation of religion, prohibit opposing speech; restrict references to God, and manipulate the press to advance ideology for the common good.

Amendment II

The right of the people to keep and bear arms shall be heavily regulated and / or prohibited to ensure weakness, passivity and obedience of the masses.

Amendment III

No Soldier shall, in time of peace or war, be respected in any manner. Unselfishly risking his life for conservative American values shall be considered a form of stupidity.

Amendment IV

The people have no right to be secure in their persons, houses, cars, papers, and effects, and may be unreasonably searched and property seized at any time, especially during travel by land, sea or air. No probable cause is required for unreasonable stoppages or seizures so long as "safety" is declared to be the officially stated reason.

Amendment V

Any person may be held to answer for any minor or major crime without cause. Presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury will no longer be required.  Any person, especially legal tax-paying citizens may be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law. Private property may be taken for public use at any time if, in the opinion of local government, a better use potentially resulting in greater tax revenue may result, or if in the opinion of those elected, more  favorable votes may be generated from alternative use.

Amendment VI

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall he held and must wait until the courts are good and ready to decide to hold trial. The jury may be stacked to generate the desired result. The accused has no right to be confronted with the witnesses against him or to obtain witnesses in his favor. If he can't afford an attorney, an inexperienced young beginner will be assigned to his defense to ensure incarceration.

Amendment VII

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed 10 cents, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved. However, the United States Constitution and rules of common law may be ignored or overruled at any time and for any reason by the politically appointed sitting judge.

Amendment VIII

Bail shall be unregulated. Excessive and unreasonable fines may be imposed if the accused is financially successful. Cruel and unusual financial punishments may be inflicted without restriction.

Amendment IX

The United States Constitution, and all rights depicted, shall be ignored whenever it is in conflict with current political ideology because, well, it is old.

Amendment X

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, will be established by whim as time goes on.